Sometimes, a long-term committed relationship can seem like just that: long. You love each other but have so much else going on in your lives that you may not feel the same initial attraction that you felt early on in your relationship. Joey Klein, CEO at Inner Matrix Systems, trains his clients on how to balance healthy, meaningful relationships with high-achieving lifestyles. In this article, Joey Klein will share how he helps his clients deal with a loss of intimacy in their relationships and how to rekindle the flame.
Relationship Lifecycle
Not only is it okay to feel a loss of intimacy with your partner at some point in your relationship: it’s completely normal. Understanding that there are four major phases of a romantic relationship can help you relax and sort through complicated emotions.
The Honeymoon Phase
You’ve met the one. They may not be perfect, but you’re willing to overlook their imperfections because being with them makes you happy, and it feels right. The hormonal high you’re feeling with boosted oxytocin levels, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen doesn’t hurt either.
Getting Serious
This is your emotional nesting phase. It’s an exciting time that strengthens your bond as you move towards one or more major life goals together, like buying a home, starting a family, etc.
Disillusionment—Falling Out of Love
And here we are, the source of our problem. You’re irritable, having less sex, feeling underappreciated, and wondering if you’ve grown too far apart or if you were ever really in love.
What happened? The distractions you had in the last two phases aren’t what they used to be. You think something is wrong because you don’t have the same fire you did in the honeymoon phase, and the stress from working towards your mutual goals is starting to take its toll.
Deep Attachment and True Love
That last phase was a doozie, which is why a lot of couples don’t make it to the finish line. However, by reconnecting with your partner and reconnecting to the vision you have for a romantic relationship, you’ll be able to truly embrace the fundamental principles of love: acceptance, sacrifice, forgiveness, and teamwork.
How to Reconnect with Your Partner
Real Talk
Set aside time to talk about your relationship and without letting your emotions get the better of you. Come from a place without judgment, where you want to understand your partner more than just being heard.
Set Aside Regular Time for Each Other
Your relationship is important, so make sure you are prioritizing it as part of your routine. For example, take a simple 20-minute walk together after work to catch up on the day can help you feel more involved in each other’s lives.
On weekends, set up a regular, longer interval of time to spend time together as a couple. What did you like to do when you first started dating? This can be a romantic date night or a shared hobby.
Express your love both through your words and actions. People express and recognize love in different ways, and the way your partner recognizes expressions of love may not be the same as the way you do. Learning what most appeals to your partner will help you make sure they feel loved.
About Inner Matrix Systems
Inner Matrix Systems, based in Denver, is a personal mastery training system for high achievers. For more than twenty years, IMS has delivered a proprietary methodology that rewires, trains, and aligns the nervous system, emotions, and thought strategies to create real-life results. CEO, Joey Klein, and IMS have worked with more than 80,000 individuals from around the world through both live and online training programs, as well as one-on-one coaching. Clients have included: Boeing, IBM, Dell, Google, Panda Express, Coca Cola and The World Health Organization. Joey is the author of The Inner Matrix: Leveraging the Art & Science of Personal Mastery to Create Real Life Results (June 2021).
